It happened.

Well after working there for over 3 months it has finally happened. I was told to stop using the womens restroom where I work until the gender marker on my drivers license is changed, and was told to start using the mens if I use the public restrooms. I was told that several associates had complained about my using the facilities. Going into the mens restroom for us would be like commiting suicide. I'm not going there and it isnt really feasable. I however can still use the womens restroom in the associates lounge as it is a single occupancy restroom.
I guess after being there for this long now that there are a good number of people who know about me. Not what my past is but what I am now. And I guess there are people there who actually must hate me because of that. Never the less after being told I couldn't help but start crying. Another slap in the face. What was I hurting using the restroom? I guess I know I am pushing things around here. I know people talk about me there... I see it when I go into the associates lounge, they look and then turn quiet. Most of the time I sit alone there, unless I am with the crew I work with, or with a very few people whom I have actually become friends with. Whether they know or not I don't know.
Sometimes I just sit and wish... OH heck I dont know. Just part of being who I am I guess, but it is so hard sometimes... heck, a lot of times.

The Grass is always greener.

You've heard the saying that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Well in my case it is. Those who know me and are following me know a lot about what I have gone through to get to this point in my life. I haven't suffered some of the consequences of transition that some of my sisters have, but I have had my fair share of bad things happen.
For the first time in my life I feel the way I think I should have always felt about my self. I am happy, confident, and very content. It has taken a long time for me to realize and get to this point in my life. I have a wonderful man whom I talk to on a regular basis ( like 2 or more times each and every day). Hopefully it wont be long before I see him (the end of November he tells me). At work I am fully accepted. Actually I think that most of the people there don't know, and that is ok, but there are some who do and that is ok too. I am not hiding what I am. Actually I am quite proud of who I am. I just wish society didn't have such an unfavorable opinion of us girls. Although in time I am sure that will be a thing of the past and we will be treated as equals in all ways.